Grateful

So for the last 18 years I have owned a videocamera. I've taken lots of video.....I have a lot of Christmases, birthdays, newborn babies, family parties, piano recitals, and probably the same things most people want to capture on video. Anyway, I just kept my tapes in a nice little rubbermaid container and am finally making them into DVD's!! To say the least it's been a time consuming process, and who knows when I will really be done. It's a lot of memories, and in a way it's a little piece of time that you get back only for as long as you are watching it.

I think Jay has learned a lot about me while helping me with this project, and one night he asked me if I was enjoying my walk down "memory lane." That question made me stop for a second - I had to think about it. There were a couple things I noticed right away. I noticed that as time goes on very few people become thinner. That was eye opening to watch. I was also surprised and saddened at how many friends and family have passed on, and are no longer with us. I get to enjoy them only on my screen, and remember how full of life they once were.

It was interesting to see glimpses of the last eighteen years, and think about how much my life has changed, how much I have changed, and maybe how much I haven't changed. I thought about the overall feeling I had. I'm relatively young. I'm only 38 years old. But if I died tomorrow and only lived to see 38 years, there is one word I would use to sum up the feelings about my life. It would be: grateful. I'm grateful for the laughter, for the hard times, for the places I've lived and the people I have met along the way. I'm grateful for everything I have learned, and the adventures I have had...but to be honest with you, I'm the most grateful for the life that I have right now. Sometimes I look around and wonder why I am so blessed. I have an amazing family, amazing friends, and people in my community who inspire me every day. No one knows what tomorrow will bring, and I think it's important to be grateful for each day. Sometimes life can be difficult, but I know this much. I know that it is worth the fight. It's amazing to me to see the way things always seem to work out. I think it's important to have a spirit of gratitude, and I hope that no matter what happens to me in my life, whether things turn out how I want them to or not, I hope to always be able to look back and say, "I am grateful."